How To Date Online, Like A Boss!



Step 1: Self Analysis

Take some time for self examination to ensure that you are indeed a dateable human being.

e.g:

Step 2: Sign Up

If you've successfully passed Step 1- - congratulations, you're ready to date online, like a boss!

Sign up and join one of the many online dating services. Each one has it's advantages and draws a unique demographic.

Step 3: Keep It Basic

Fill out your basic information like name, age, sex, height, eye and hair color.

No need to share your social security number or blood type just yet. You'll want to save these for date number two, silly.

After all, like mama used to say: no one will wanna buy the cow if you give the milk away for free. Oh Mama, you're so wise.

Step 4: Photo Time

Now it's time to begin building your profile! You wanna grab your future baby daddy's or mama's attention don'tcha? Well that all begins with a profile picture.

You'll want to choose a photo that accentuates your best qualities such as your toes smile, nostrils hair, or ear-hair eyes.

Choose an image that features YOU as the main attraction. Stay away from group photos; 9/10 times, you and I are not the hottest banana in the bunch. No need for competition this early in the game.
And just in case you were wondering, NO you may not use that landscape photo you took of the sunset.

If there's one thing that is known as true in the online dating game: NEVER TRUST A PROFILE WITH ONE PHOTO.

If you have only one photo, people will most likely assume you're probably a recluse, a Ugo or even worse: a vegan. You're better than that. Add a few photos and give the people what they want. Just kidding about the whole "Vegan" thing. Kind of.

Step 5: Summarize Yo' Self

Information is power, right? So you'll want to share some important and key aspects of what makes you, you.

Don't attempt to include your entire family lineage in this section; just give a glimpse into why you're amaze-balls.

Here are some tips:

  1. Let your personality shine through
  2. be humorous
  3. try your best to be genuine
    4.
Listing your hobbies, special interests, favorite movies and music will allow someone who shares those passions to connect instantly with you even before chatting. Find your fellow Justin Bieber fan and make yourself a Bieliber.

Step 6: Messaging Etiquette

Now the fun begins. Start searching and looking over your matches. When you see the hottie of your dreams, don't just sit there lookin' pretty. Be Proactive! Message them. MESSAGE WE SAY!

When writing your message, veer away from uninspired greetings. "Hello", "Hey" or "Sup" may have worked in 1992 AOL Chatrooms, but it's now 2016.

Get creative, and try and use a detail from their profile as a jumping off point to get the conversation started.

Step 7: Baby Steps

So you've been messaging back and forth and you think you've found someone who's worthy of your time. It's time to take some baby steps, baby.

If you feel comfortable, try to initiate a chat on the phone. Endless written messages can be nice, but sometimes a persons personality can translate differently from browser to real life. You don't wanna prolong finding out.

Feeling extra comfortable but not quite sure if you want to meet your new interest in person yet? Skype or Facetime can be a great way to break the ice in online dating. The future is now.

Step 8: Meet N' Greet

So hopefully you've successfully managed to have a number of phone conversations and perhaps even a video chat. It's apparent that your crush is not a psycho (and if they are, they kinda deserve credit for hiding it so well)

If you decide to finally meet in person, try and aim for a public place with lots of good lighting.

Dress to impress, bring your 'A' game in conversation and get ready to wow your date. Let the rest happen organically and hopefully, it'll be a success.

Step 9: Embracing The Good or Bad

After your date one of two outcomes will occur: You'll be into your date and vise versa, OR one of the two of you won't be feeling the chemistry.

If it's the former, CONGRATS! You're on your way to dating, like a boss. Keep the lines of communication open and keep making time for that special someone.

If the latter occurs--don't fret! There are still plenty of tuna in the tank. Keep on putting yourself out there and you'll find the right person in due time.

Step 10: Being in a Relationship, Like A Boss

Eventually you will find the person of your dreams and everything will click. Do your best to treat the other person with respect, adoration and a splash of craziness and everything will be A-OK.

Congrats on being the Boss of Your Love Life. Go buy yourself a cookie. You deserve it.